The dream is destined to be a lonely journey. If I fail, I will face everyone’s ridicule and criticism. Facing the invisible pressure of life, I don’t know how long I can persist. Thank you readers for your support along the way. I will try my best.

I try my best to write better and more excellent articles. I am very afraid of failure, and what I choose is a path of no return. I am not favored by others. Some people even laugh at me because I stay at home every day because I am lazy and don’t want to go to work.

In the name of writing novels, I escaped from reality. Faced with everyone’s incomprehension, I could only smile and didn’t want to explain anything.

If a person doesn't even dare to take the first step towards his dream, then he will be doomed to mediocrity in his life. Of course, it doesn't mean that I am awesome after taking the first step, but in comparison

I think I still have a glimmer of hope. I don’t know how long it took from writing novels to now, from school to graduation. I just remember that it started when I was still a junior in political science and law. But there was no computer at that time, so I could only use a diary.

I wrote a whole book and then showed it to my classmates to read. At that time, I didn’t know how to upload the novel to the Internet, which was a very painful thing. Later, when I entered college, by chance, I saw the online game master

Lost Ye said on Weibo what was going on with the Novel Network, so I came to this website with the attitude of giving it a try. At first, I didn’t dare to upload the manuscript because I was afraid that others would say it was not good-looking or incomprehensible.

Just by chance, I suddenly and on a whim, I typed all the tens of thousands of words I had worked so hard to write in my diary onto the computer and started serializing them. In the beginning, no one read my novel at all, most of them were just friends.

time support.

Then at that time, people started to laugh at me. I didn’t say anything at that time. I just felt so embarrassed and embarrassed. I couldn’t express this feeling and I just kept it silently in my heart. So I continued to laugh for a long time.

I thought about giving up this path completely. I didn’t write a word for a long time. I just played games every day (well... I guess I typed on the keyboard...), until the summer of 2013.

It was an online literature competition. I didn’t think much about it and took the results of my painstaking research on online literature during this period to enter the competition. At the beginning, I got very good results. I seem to remember that I was in the top five at that time, so I later entered it.

Some websites began to send me various invitations to sign contracts. I didn’t know what was going on at the time. As soon as I heard that I was signing a contract, I immediately ran away with them. After going to that website, many friends came to support me and deposit money.

I directly went to get the number one ranking on their website. Some friends even silently clicked for me from behind... This was very embarrassing. At the time, all I wanted to do was see if I could do that again.

The website wrote about a buyout or something, but in the end the website politely rejected it. At that time, the pressure on me was born, including various demands from my family, etc., so from then on, all I could think about was

Money, without money I would be attacked ten times or more if I said anything at home.

The definition of me in my family is that I am a prodigal who doesn’t know anything, is not good at studies and only knows how to play games. No matter relatives, friends or people in my own family, they don’t think much of me. For a period of time, my father even didn’t want to marry me.

You know, whenever I think about this, I always have the urge to cry, but after all, I am also wrong. At that time, I just played games all day long and didn’t know how to do anything else. To be honest, I felt very sad.

Feels sorry.

Finally, I stopped writing novels on the small website. From then on, I felt that I had no motivation in life, and then I wasted my time for more than a month. Later, my friends kept asking me to go back and start writing. I don’t know why I was crazy.

So I started writing an outline day and night, constantly revising and revising, and finally wrote the current novel. The novel has been doing very well for a newcomer since it was serialized, and there is basically no list of new books.

I passed it, and added some recommendations from the editor, so my score quickly went up. At that time, the number of clicks increased by 10,000 to 20,000 a day, which exploded the anus of many great people. At this time, websites started to come to me to visit their website.

I went to write a buyout work, and the prices given were generally around 20 to 30 per thousand words. I knew what it was. This was the result I earned with my dead brain cells and gray hair. Finally, in 2014

On the first day my book was finally on the shelves, I thought I could finally get some money every month to smoke. But at this time, I graduated from college, and the pressure in life became even more intense.

, seeing that the new book has been in the top twenty of the new book subscription list, I don’t want to give up this book. This book is like my child. I worked hard to raise it little by little, and finally threw it away.

I really can't bear it.

But after graduation, I have to find a job, otherwise I will be scolded by my family to death... I can't make much money a month, and the most I can earn is more than a thousand, but even so, I still don't want to give up this job.

In this book, they all said that I was lazy because I was afraid of going out to work and suffering, but do you know that sometimes physical and mental exhaustion is really more painful than physical fatigue? What I face every day is how the plot of the novel should develop.

I don’t have the nerve to raise my head when I go out. I don’t know when this kind of day will end. I love myself first. I set an alarm for myself every day and get up early in the morning to write a novel. But sometimes I just finish the novel.

I wrote until midnight, and even if I set the alarm, I couldn't get up. So at this time, the trouble came again. They said I was too lazy to go to bed, not work, and slept in all day long. I really didn't know what to do.

What did I say? I just feel aggrieved. I don’t know whether I should give up or not. I feel so confused. Now I’m being asked to eat, but I’m not in the mood to eat. I just endure what’s going on outside.

I wrote this post in a scolding voice, just take it one step at a time, thank you readers and friends who have been following me, I will work hard, okay, this is the end of writing, and I will vent my dissatisfaction by writing it out.

Okay, I'm going to have a meal now. After the meal, I will continue to code and update for everyone. I still hope that everyone will continue to support the genuine version and support Xiaochen!

I haven’t written a diary in several years. I was hesitant about making it public at first, but now I’m used to your disdain and attacks on me. I can complain whenever I want, I don’t mind...
Chapter completed!